t o u c h t h e s k i e s

Someday, it'll be alright.

2011-11-14T21:54:00.002+08:00

I'll come to realise that, one day.
It would take me quite awhile to put all these aside, but I would.
I have to, cos it's useless to keep hoping for something that never belonged to me.
It may stop me from where I initially wanted to go, but it wouldn't stop me from pursuing my dreams and goals.

~~When I'm dealing with my emotions in such situations, I realised that I don't know who to confide in, not because of who they are, but because I don't know how to start.~~

I'M BACK TO BEING POSITIVE. (or at least, not as pessimistic as that night.)

16th.

2011-09-10T20:53:00.004+08:00

Hi I'm back after a long hiatus!

Life's been pretty hectic yet at the same relaxing.

I don't know why I'm back, I just had this sudden temptation to start blogging.

It's been super long since I've last drafted a post like this!

It's like, thoughts keep going through my mind but it's hard to put it in words.

Okay well, EOYs and promo are coming up really soon and I'm not even sure I'm fully prepared or not.

It's always like this, I WANT to do well but it seems so tough to find a source of motivation to keep me going, to lead me to my goal.

In class, everyone is like so ahead of everything and I'm like, stranded in some forest not knowing what they're talking about.

Sometimes it just feels so... demoralising.

At some point of time when I put in effort in things I do, and end up not doing well, it really is saddening.

Well but the least I can do now is just focus on the things that I'm supposed to do and not bother about other unnecessary things or distractions.

It's easier said than done, but I'll try whatever that may work.

I want to get into the stream I want, really.

Okay shall start doing work now!

Short one!

2011-06-07T12:29:00.002+08:00

Heheh, I'm back!
Just posting a short one. :D
Holidays have been pretty fine, I guess.
Yeap , I think I need to be more on-task.
If not I wouldn't be able to get everything done.

Bye!

2011-05-24T19:02:00.005+08:00

I know I haven't been doing well.

I am aware of it.

I know I have to do something about it, I really do.

I know that everyone has their own expectations for themselves, but sometimes I don't feel that comfortable when everyone is getting higher, not just 1 or 2 grades higher, but 3 to 4 grades higher.

I really know that it's okay for everyone to express their feelings towards their own results like how I feel that I too, have the rights to show my emotions in front of everybody else.

But sometimes when I see everyone getting good results and I look at my own, when everyone else are feeling sad, tearing upon the sight of their own result slips, I just can't help it but feel worse.

I really try not to feel this way, but sometimes I just can't help it.

But of course, on a lighter note, there are people who really try to comfort me, I am really thankful for that.

I really want to stop thinking about it, but I just can't.

But at the end, I can't possibly blame others for getting quite a few grades higher than me, cos I am the only reason, the only person to blame.

Whenever I get poor results, I would simply think about working harder and achieving greater results in the next exam.

But have I done so?

No. I have not.

I don't want to regret, and I know that talk is cheap.

I think I really need help from everyone and of course, intrinsic motivation to push myself, in order to be at the right path.

Constant reminders that talk is cheap, actions are what matter most.

I hate how it's always when the bad thing really happens before I wake up.

But after waking up, I do feel repentant, maybe for a while I'll be good, I'll be on the right track.

But after that? I would just go back to the normal self.

I don't want this to happen again.

'Cos at this rate, I would lose out, I would start losing whatever I have.

I'm starting to realise that, and I hope it isn't too late.

I need to prove my mum wrong, I need to prove others wrong, and most importantly, prove myself wrong.

I think PSLE didn't hit me hard enough since I got a relatively fine result, when I didn't put in much effort.

Must I be hit on the back hard before I can even know how cruel the truth is.

I am only the one who can work hard for myself, not others.

I've always thought my sister is trying to rub in.

I've always be annoyed at her because she does not understand how it feels like to be like me.

But I feel that she is right, what am I doing?

I always think that because she is smarter, she's just trying to use this to make herself feel better.

No, I was wrong. Her point was right, I didn't work harder, not hard enough to get myself to where I am supposed to be.

So what am I supposed to do now? Feel remorseful now and leave everything until I am supposed to do something?

I hope not. I really hope not.

I want to choose my subjects combination, I don't want someone else to choose it for me.

I want to land in a place where I want to be in, not a place where I am forced to be in.

Sorry but with all my worries and everything, I have been pretty sensitive.

Or maybe because it's getting too frequent that I feel that it's getting too much, that I think there should be a stop to this.

I may seem okay with whatever you all say, but sometimes, I may not.

I have feelings too.

Maybe I've made the same mistakes too, just like how others did.

So I'm not being annoyed or stuff like that.

But I just feel sad because I think I am sensitive to whatever people say.

And I am observant of what people do.

Perhaps it's because of the impression that I give to other people that caused it, but then again, I think that sometimes I should not be treated this way.

Maybe I should be less of what I am now so that all of these would not be happening.

Sometimes I really wonder if people understand me that well that they can be that not-mindful of what they say.

Yeap, but let's hope those are what that can make me stronger.

That's all for now.

I don't think anyone is reading this and I hope not.

13th. Peace.

2011-03-24T19:32:00.003+08:00

~~I need to rant.~~
I'm feeling better now so I deleted the post I was supposed to post.

Anyway,
There's cross country tomorrow.
Oh, and I need to start doing work.
& sleep less.
That's all for now.

12th. Heh!

2011-02-01T23:30:00.002+08:00

Hello, I can't be bothered to update regularly.
I think I can doze off at a super fast rate when I do my work.
Cool not. \m/

Oh yes,
I went for SS3! :D
Hehehe, it was cooooool, albeit my super bad seat.
To think that I thought it was okay at first, until I went to another spot not far away and the view was much better.
Bleh, who asked my mum to ponder so long, by the time she bought the tickets, the good seats were already gone. ):
Okay anyway, it was nice heheheh!

Bye bye, it's 1135 now.
I'm going to do Math.
Note to self: STAY AWAKE UNTIL YOU FINISHED MATH. :D

11th, I'm back.

2011-01-21T18:23:00.002+08:00

Hello all, I'm back like finally.
I've been on a short hiatus hehehe w/o prior notice.
I didn't expect myself to not update for so long.
Okay anyway, life has been pretty hectic the past few weeks, even though the workload hasn't started piling.
Sometimes, I think deadlines are pretty useful.
At least I don't pile my work up that much.

The squad outing yesterday was fail.
I'll remain positive and hope the next one will be better.
Wait, it MUST be better.
So eggcited about squad lunch.

Okay I don't feel like updating anymore.
& there's swimming later. );
Okay byebye.

10th.

2010-12-30T14:17:00.003+08:00

Days to: (including today)
2011 - 2
Start of school - 6
Days left to do homework - 6!?!!?!
Good luck to me! (:
Ps* I'm counting today to make myself feel better.

9th. Hohoho!

2010-12-25T21:47:00.004+08:00

Jingle Bells.

So hello everybody! (:
I actually had a draft on the day I came back from my cruise trip, but I was too lazy to finish the whole post.
Okay so..
I've been slacking the days off as usual, doing random stuff.
Ohoh, and Autumn's Concerto is finally being broadcasted in Singapore, after like one year.
I've finished the whole series a few months ago though, heheh!

Anyway,
Merry Christmas everybody! :D
I've sent out Christmas cards to some people, hahah, as in those who gave me their address.
Most of them have received it!
Well, this Christmas..
I spent it at home.
I normally don't spend my Christmas like that, I'll go to my uncle's house or something.
Then I'll go there to play wii, or anything that is much much much more interesting that staying at home, staring at I-have-no-idea-where.
Next Christmas I hope I'll spent it in a more meaningful way.

Is anyone getting excited about 2011?
There's a gathering for me to attend soon!
But that means, school IS starting soon.
I.dread.the.start.of.school.
Dreading the 4th of January.
Okay byebye!
Merry Christmas everybody!

7th.

2010-12-10T13:02:00.002+08:00

I've been watching dramas for the past few days, like for hours.
& was up till like.. 3/4am yesterday.
I still prefer the previous drama I've watched.

Okay anyway.
Yesterday, went out with Liqi!
Actually we wanted to watch The Chronicles of Narnia 3d, but in the end we didn't.
We missed the 3.15pm slot. ):
So we watched Rapunzel 3d instead.
Hahah, at first we were a little worried if it'll be a bit childish, it ended up fine. (:
Weirdweird Liqi teared because of the storylines!
Hahahahahahah.
The 3d specs were like heavy?
The other time when I watched I-forgot-what-it-is-called, I had to like hold on to the specs.
The 3d effects were still okay, but since there were not much of exaggerated movements, I think the 3d effects weren't fully utilised.

I hate the don't-know-what machine, the one used to catch toys.
I spend 4 bucks on it, argh.
But got nothing at the end.
Waste of money, then we were both pissed at the machine.
Cos we both wasted money for nothing.

Ohoh, I'll be away from the 11th of Decemeber - 15th of December. (If I'm not wrong.)
Hahah, miss meeeee!

6th. What it takes.

2010-12-07T22:37:00.005+08:00

With every step, you climb another mountain.

Yes, finally went jogging.
Running 2.4km is like a torture to me.
When I was running, panting, I tried to think positive.
Yeah, it's the mentality.
Hahah, though my timing deproved, but at least I finished running. (:
So it's a successful attempt!
Okay, enough about that.

I realised that I'm seriously lagging behind on homework.
Like, there are people who are already done with it.
I'm.. just starting with it?
Tons of work to complete and I'm left with only, less than 3 weeks?!
What have I gotten myself into.
~~Okay I'm done with ranting. :D~~

I think I'll be satisfied with myself if I end this post now and get started with my 800 words Chinese compo. :D
At first I thought 800 words is like "OH NO, NEVER" sort of task.
But now that I've checked that each page can contain about 400 words, I think it isn't THAT tough.
I think my vocabulary is of P6 standard. *shows signs of remorse*
I'm finally done with ranting. :D
I'm aware that I've been ending my posts abruptly, hahah.

Okay I'm going to start my compo now. (:
Bye.

5th. Turn it into a melody.

2010-12-06T14:31:00.009+08:00

Every rose has its thorn.

~~So, let me do a super boring post on what I've been doing recently.~~
I don't want to anymore, since it's a bore to me after reading the few lines I typed.

Okay well, let me just briefly say.
I've been recently watching drama series.
So cool huh. \m/
But it's, RE-watching.
It's a source of entertainment for me, at least.
Since life has been pretty boring.
No, I don't want the holidays to end yet.

I'm always on the verge of being grounded, but in the end I still get to go out.
Okay that was random.
I'm super lazy to go source for dramas to watch.
Okay if I'm bored I'll go catch Hello Baby - T-ara.
My sister is like.. CONSTANTLY updating me kpop stuff.
Then she keeps denying that she is not into kpop.
She just came online, hah. :D

Currently listening to River flows in you.
Super nice aaaaah.
BUT WHY IS IT USED IN TWILIGHT.
Okay I don't want to know why.
I want to try playing on the piano, even though I can't even handle the songs I should be playing now.
Ending the post now. (:

Picture credits to: http://sivylla.pblogs.gr/2009/20091122.html

4th. Everything you ever wanted.

2010-12-03T16:50:00.005+08:00

Sugar, spice and everything nice.

I miss the times when there's still Powerpuff girls screening at 10am on kids central.
When I didn't know which toy to choose from.
Well, I came across this status on facebook just now.
Change your Facebook profile picture to a cartoon character from your childhood and invite your friends to do the same till Monday, 6th December. There should be no human faces on Facebook, but an invasion of memories. This is for the fight against child violence. Spread the word!
Yeah, why not?

Okay, so..
Today was quite normal.
Went for swimming class just now, hahah, I'm a good girl. (:
It's been sooo long since the last time I wore my pyjamas on top of my swimsuit.
So swimming with it was a little tougher.
I'm still considering whether to take the gold award exam.
Like, I could have gone like last year, but they changed the syllabus?
Totally changed it.
Okay never mind.
I shall go on tumblr now, or maybe do some other random stuff.
Bye.

3rd. Hello December

2010-12-02T22:40:00.003+08:00

Yet another new month. It's coming to the end of the year already.
Need to buck up and be more productive.
Oh okay, before I forget.
To do list:
- Practise the piano piece, spend at least 30 minutes tomorrow.
(I still can't play the song after like what..2 months?!)
- Do piano theory homework.
(Hahah, it was given 3 weeks agao, but 2 weeks ago my teacher forgot about it, and I couldn't go for lesson last week)
- START ON HOMEWORK, seriously.
- Tumblr~

Okay that's about it.
My 3rd post today, wow.
It's just the start, so I guess it's okay.

2nd, Gingy.

2010-12-02T17:36:00.000+08:00

Poor Gingy.

1st.

2010-12-02T15:23:00.000+08:00

Hello.
I have this sudden urge to get back to blogger and start blogging, I've no idea why.
Yeah so, I'm back.
It's been more than one month since the start of the holidays, I'm not doing anything productive still.
Well, I'm still trying to make this blog look nicer.
It's quite tough trying to figure out the codes after not using blogger for such a long time.
Oh and thanks Liqi for helping! :D
Okay, I don't know what to say now.
So I shall end this post here. :)